Les Americains sont des gens tristes!

"Americans are sad." This is the conclusion my mother came to one day that she was visiting us in Miami. See, mom is a "haitien dan lame!" (Kev, correction please! This is embarrassing! You know more written Creole than I do!) That day we were going home but I had a few stops to make on the way. First Eckerd, the sales girls after our purchase "Thank you very much, have a nice evening!" Then Publix, again "Thank you for coming, have a nice evening" Then the gas station, same response "Thank you. Come again soon. Have a nice evening." That's when she made the comment to me in a very pensive way, "Les Americains sont des gens tristes!" What she saw was this need to make conversation as a sign of a sad life and therefore let's talk to all those strangers and pretend they are friends! In India, I find myself being a "sad American"! It took me some time to understand my attitude and the attitude of Indians here. Again, let me say, this is based on MY observations of only 3 months of a nation that is very complicated and therefore might be not so correct. When I walk on campus, there are a lot of construction workers and their families, who live here in the shacks you see in the picture, and there are the Class 4 workers, which are the servants. From the beginning, as I pass by them I always said “Good morning” to them. At first, they wouldn’t even answer, just gave me a stranger look than they would anyway! But then, they got used to it and they would answer me with an amused look on their faces. That’s when I started realizing that the other teachers did not greet them at all. In my American thinking, at first I thought, they did not because they’re looking down on them, and think they are not worth the acknowledgement. Now after close to three months in this country, I am realizing I was totally wrong. They don’t greet them not out of disrespect or prejudice but simply because in India everything and everyone has their place. These people are there for a purpose, they have a role to play that does not include interaction among caste. They value them greatly for what they are doing. They realize how fortunate they are to have those “bhai” (it’s either that or “bahai”! One is brother the other one is maid! I mean the latter, Boris! Though I am fortunate to have you too!) I do admit, I have had limited exposure to the interaction between the caste but from what I’ve seen, the interaction is to the point, without any personal contact. But not abusive or verbally disrespectful as I’ve seen in Haiti for example or many places where there are servants (what was the name of this movie with Anthony Hopkins and Emma Thompson, where he played an English butler who was treated with such disrespect by his master?! “Howard’s Ends” or “The Remains of the Day”?) Anyway, the condescendence and the open “you are beneath me” attitude just isn’t found here. It’s just everyone has their place and no one tries to cross the line in any way at all.

Another example of this place that everyone has here. The other day there was a cricket game at school. There is a pavilion where teachers and guests were to sit. Plastic chairs were placed for everyone but right up front were a couple of sofas for the Principal and dignitaries to sit. Of course on one side the women and the other the men! When we ran out of chairs, a couple of teachers who came in later stood in the back but did not go sit in the front row, though it was empty. I mean if it were a formal function, I would say OK. But just a friendly game of cricket between Old Dalian and the present students! Very interesting! Everyone has a place in India and no one crosses to the other side.
So the amused look on the workers’ faces is simply them looking at me like my mother looked at the cashiers in America “Here is the sad American woman who doesn’t know her place in life”! …what is my place in life?!