Friday, December 25, 2009

Prayers

In a country where gods come by the lacks, I find myself often questioning my relationship with God (Thank God we only have ONE to contend with!!!)! The other day at a temple in Mumbai, as I watch some women praying and going through all the rituals they have here, somehow I couldn't bring myself to join them. Not just because I didn't know the proper gestures, but because my relationship with God is a strange one. One, I feel totally and completely grateful and thankful for everything I know and everything I have. And I always send prayers of gratitude to Him. On the other hand, I don't feel I have the right to ask Him for anything. Just then, as I watched these women, I felt deep inside of me that if I asked in prayers to God, to make my knees stronger and more flexible, it would happen. But something stopped me. I felt also very seriously that if I wanted that I had to do it, through diet, through yoga... it is for ME to do it alone. It's as if God is not interested in helping me with my issues. This is a very simple example that I gave here, but this is how I feel about every problem I face. Is it over confidence in what I can do... but then why the gratitude?... or is it a feeling that I am not worth His Almighty's help?
I tell you, in a place where gods come by the lacks, my relationship with my ONE God has been a source of great questioning for me.
...what is one more question in the wave of queries I have been hit with lately!!!

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